Why Why Why?

Why Why Why? 

*I hit an iceberg, and I was sinking fast. A friend in HS helped me through. 

Thank you for being there for me!

 Why am I always stuck in this misery.

I Try Try Try to be be happy.

They crowd around me &

all wonder why I am in pain.

I Cry Cry Cry, My eyes are weak,

I can't cry anymore.

But they don't listen,

they want it more.

I do what I can to cheer up.

I pretend that I am okay, 

but I can't play anymore.

I can't play that game.

Why don't they see that

this is really hurting me.

I DON'T WANT the attention,

but I need it, Can't you see?

CAN'T YOU SEE??

I need someone to help me

get rid of my tears,

to take me away,

from all my fears.

Not fears around me,

but fears inside.

Fears that I always try to hide.

Fears of not being loved,

fears of losing myself,

or my family.

Fears of not dying when I want to.

Fears of dying when I don't. 

I Try Try Try to get through this,

to make my life better,

To get out of this mess.

Can I get better?

Can I get better?

I just CAN'T Quit!

-DTP

Written in 1999 

Published 

September 7, 2016

(November 14 2016 was posted Here to my Poetry Page)

#trytrytry #crycrycry #whywhywhy #DTP #Anxiety #why

~Back to Poetry~

Long Enough to See the Rainbow

Long Enough to See the Rainbow

by Daynah T. Pedersen

@sparklep8nter #sparklep8nter #sparklep8nterpoem

written & published 3-21-21 

It's always nice to have those friends when you giggle half the night, go clubbing or dancing, just feeling alright.

things are great, you're chill, you're my GIRL!

The friends that always want to pick you up in their car, 

blast the tunes on the radio, sometimes no plans at all.

But are they still when things change in your world?

when things get tough, when you're hurt, or sad, are they still your girl? 

are they only there when the weather is fair?

they want to only have fun, but when you can't or don't feel it

 no one wants to listen to your problems, no one wants to hear it.

no one wants to be there. so look a what you're stuck in...

so to have someone listen, you shell out your cash, sure therapy is great, 

but what about a friend, a real bond, is that all fake?

all the therapy in the world doesn't give you a real connection, 

all it gives you is anxiety till your next session.

all you want is someone true, someone you can cry to as well as laugh. 

but the second they see your cloud roll in, they say for forget this empath.

yeah, I can feel you backing away, I feel your toxic positivity pulsing through my veins. 

sorry, I can't always be fake happy like you, 

sorry I had a bad day and needed a minute or two.

sorry I even thought this was real, 

sorry I had other emotions to feel.

sorry, that listening was just so hard for you, 

even when I did it when YOU needed me to.

a full life of fair weather friends, but this hurricanes been brewing for years. 

holding back anger, faking smiles, wiping secret tears. 

being alone on most everything you have going on, keeping worry, loneliness, secrets and fears.

you stop telling your friends about the sunny days, cuz they won't be there with an *umbrella for the rain. 

I'm just so fuckin sick of being alone, time and time again. 

yes of COURSE I want the sunshine, I want the fun and the whimsey,

but I also want to feel like i can be real, be honest, without you acting like i'm crazy

just once I want to know, 

what it's like to have someone stick around

long enough to let something genuine grow, 

maybe even long enough to see the rainbow. 

* (unless you're an Oregonian)

~Back to Poetry~

#sparklep8nter #sparklep8nterart #sparklep8nterpoem #sparklep8ntersong #longenoughtoseetherainbow #fairweatherfriends #fairweather #stormyweatherfriends #realfriends #truefriends #bestfriends #whatisarealfriend #whatisabestfriend #realpeoplerealfeelings

Forever You, Forever Me

Forever You Forever Me

I wrote this in 1999 or 2000, 

back when Justin & Britney were IT

Ever since I saw you, I knew that we'd be friends

I couldn't wait to see you, and talk to you again.

but every time I saw you, I'd lose the words to say

Reliving every moment, in horror in my head every day. 

They won't Tear us Apart, our Love is too strong. 

I'm LOCKED in your love, and I threw away the key.

Forever you, forever me

 We'll be together, no matter what they say

You and I will always be this way, 

forever with you, forever and a day. 

This is a rough short version of a song I wrote and can’t find the whole thing! I wrote it in 1999 when Justin and Britney were the it couple and I could live vicariously through them. Lol

I think it could make a song, can’t you? Who knows? Maybe soon it will be! no, it WILL be soon! OMG

Right now there are 2 versions, and someone helping me work some things to make something amazing!

~Back to Poetry~

#foreveryouforeverme #love #firstlove #truelove #iloveyou #purelove #younglove #britneyandjustin #destiny #promise #promisering