Long Enough to See the Rainbow

Long Enough to See the Rainbow

by Daynah T. Pedersen

@sparklep8nter #sparklep8nter #sparklep8nterpoem

written & published 3-21-21 

It's always nice to have those friends when you giggle half the night, go clubbing or dancing, just feeling alright.

things are great, you're chill, you're my GIRL!

The friends that always want to pick you up in their car, 

blast the tunes on the radio, sometimes no plans at all.

But are they still when things change in your world?

when things get tough, when you're hurt, or sad, are they still your girl? 

are they only there when the weather is fair?

they want to only have fun, but when you can't or don't feel it

 no one wants to listen to your problems, no one wants to hear it.

no one wants to be there. so look a what you're stuck in...

so to have someone listen, you shell out your cash, sure therapy is great, 

but what about a friend, a real bond, is that all fake?

all the therapy in the world doesn't give you a real connection, 

all it gives you is anxiety till your next session.

all you want is someone true, someone you can cry to as well as laugh. 

but the second they see your cloud roll in, they say for forget this empath.

yeah, I can feel you backing away, I feel your toxic positivity pulsing through my veins. 

sorry, I can't always be fake happy like you, 

sorry I had a bad day and needed a minute or two.

sorry I even thought this was real, 

sorry I had other emotions to feel.

sorry, that listening was just so hard for you, 

even when I did it when YOU needed me to.

a full life of fair weather friends, but this hurricanes been brewing for years. 

holding back anger, faking smiles, wiping secret tears. 

being alone on most everything you have going on, keeping worry, loneliness, secrets and fears.

you stop telling your friends about the sunny days, cuz they won't be there with an *umbrella for the rain. 

I'm just so fuckin sick of being alone, time and time again. 

yes of COURSE I want the sunshine, I want the fun and the whimsey,

but I also want to feel like i can be real, be honest, without you acting like i'm crazy

just once I want to know, 

what it's like to have someone stick around

long enough to let something genuine grow, 

maybe even long enough to see the rainbow. 

* (unless you're an Oregonian)

~Back to Poetry~

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